Notes
this is the kind of book that sounds intriguing in theory but becomes an absolute chore to read. while the premise is undeniably disturbing and eye catching, the execution leaves much to be desired. the pacing is sluggish and the narration is so monotonous that it drains any potential emotional impact from his story.
the memoir does a good job of highlighting the extreme abuse Dully suffered at the hands of his stepmother, Lou, who orchestrated his lobotomy simply because he was (what i’d consider) an "unruly" child. given the already harsh discipline of the 1950s, the fact that Lou’s treatment of Dully stood out as particularly cruel speaks volumes.
however, the book repeatedly emphasises Lou’s villainy as if her actions weren’t already extremely self-evident. meanwhile, Dully paints his father almost as a passive bystander, but the reality is that he was a complete enabler—one who conveniently distanced himself from the abuse while Lou raised four children under her iron fist. his failure as a parent is undeniable, yet the book rarely holds him accountable.
one of the most baffling parts of Dully’s story is how authorities recognized that his family was the root of his behavioral issues, yet instead of removing him from that environment in a constructive way, they threw him into juvenile detention and later institutionalized him. it’s infuriating to see how the system failed him at every turn. however, as the memoir progresses, it becomes increasingly difficult to remain sympathetic toward Dully. he continuously blames his struggles on his lobotomy and upbringing, but at some point, personal responsibility has to come into play. his later actions—cheating on his wife while simultaneously being enraged at her infidelity, physically abusing her, and even using his son as a weapon in their marital conflict—make it incredibly hard to root for him.
ultimately, this isn’t a book I would ever recommend. while it sheds light on a horrifying historical practice and the failures of the mental health system, its sluggish pacing, frustrating protagonist, and repetitive messaging make it feel like a waste of time.
if you’re looking for an insightful memoir on mental health, trauma, or medical malpractice, I would say that this isn’t it.
